Off topic,...

but priceless advice nonetheless.

This month, I've gone...

back in time,



to July, or so it feels. A warm Spetember with 23 straight days of sunshine, and not much wind, means lots of good water.

Tom has had a couple out-the-backs recently, so we're going back to bacics.


Terry is social-security eligible, but you wouldn't know it when watching him slalom.


I still need to clean up my reverse toe tricks.

Dr. Dre was right

slower is better.

It wouldn't be regionals...

without a close call on the jump ramp.

'08:


'09:


BTW, brilliant color commentary from Reedski on the '08 jump.

In response to the "clean out your jumpsuit" comment, Don't worry Brian, I always PJD.

T minus 2...

days until I leave for Nationals.


Hell yes.

Shameless...

self-promotion.

I am on the Flickr Blog.




Here is the soon-to-be famous photo


So, My enhanced silhouette is out there, for all the billions** of readers of the Flickr Blog to barely see.

This could be my big break. I could make millions of theoretical dollars.




*The picture is of me, but someone in the boat took the picture. Actually, the photo on the flickr blog was taken from Libby's flickr page, as she enhanced the original picture and uploaded it.


**Fair enough, billions is a bit of hyperbole.

Road trip suggestion...

for my blogging Brethren, The CRB.

Get thee to Wilmington IL, this Saturday evening to watch Men 2 jump @ the Midwest Regional Championships.

The contenders* are all jumping their at best, and far.
Brian Ansel- 168 "on a 3/4" @ the Iowa Games**
Jeff Surdej- 166 @ The Illinois State Championships**
Brett Mommer- 160 "on my heels" @ The Illinois State Championships**
Aaron Weeks- no score from Indiana State Championships, but a solid 146 average.
Rykert Toledano- 156 and "I missed my lift" @ the Iowa Games**
Mike LaMarche- 143 @ the Illinois State Championships**


* All the level 8 jumpers as of Monday 7/27/09 on the usawaterski.org
ranking list.
** scores posted in a 5-10 mph tight-crossing tailwind


This Year, Water's Edge has a second ramp. That Means GUARANTEED HEADWIND. Guaranteed headwind means BIGGER JUMPS.

CRB, need a phat ride to roll into the event?

May I suggest this:

I think there just...

might be a link between calm water and good slalom:

Wednesday: calm water and Terry strokes his 32
water still calm and your fearless blog moderator strokes (sloppily)
his 32 as well.

Enter into evidence:






I want to collect LOTS more data.

Good Andrew...

First-ever complete pass at 30mph (30.4 to be exact).



Bad Andrew:
First time over the ramp.


RESIST THE RAMP AND GET ON YOUR TOES!


Don't worry Andrew, you'll get it.

Am I delusional,...

or do I have a knack for picking tournaments with shitty weather?





I must be crazy.

2 days...

off from work but I haven't been able to find a third. Damn.

Though posting average-at-best scores...

I fell in Love with Clearwater Beach and the annual Des Moines slalom tournament. That place is almost perfect.
What is so great about it?


I'll show you









Mud ridin', titty bars and waterskiing: The zenith (or trough) of modern civilization.

Like I said, almost perfect.

One quick addition:




Now it's perfect.

I finally...

caught a flip on camera.


More specifically, Katie actually caught it on camera. I've yet to master the film-while skiing technique.

Speaking of catching, here's a nasty edge-catch on a reverse W5F.


That one was a bell-ringer.

Ahhhh, young grasshopper....

effort come with bruises.

Tom is, literally, busting his ass to qualify for Midwest regionals this year. Here is some video evidence of said ass-busting.



Unfortunately, he is at a level where he is progressing, but can't quite anticipate an oncoming slalom crash. With practice, hopefully he will learn to recognize an impending shit sandwich, and avoid it. Until then, well, like Dr. evil says



A hard knock life indeed.

Methinks the...

Toe Back to Backs are a little sloppy.

Happy Birthday...

to Nola.




2 Years old and counting.

Must....

stop....




preturning

Since it's too...

god damn windy to ski this weekend, here is an off-topic WTF video.


Personally, I prefer Honey mustard on my feet.

Very nearly...

eating shit.



It's hard to see at full speed, but I almost fell head over heels over head over heels coming into number three.


In other news, Leah is finally sticking her hips and chest out over her skis.


If Leah does that this weekend, she'll collect some hardware from the Beaver at collegiate all-stars,


http://

This is...

damn cool.



I hope watching it doesn't give me vertigo again.

That ramp...

sat idle for too long.

No more.

Pat:


Me:


Leah (she skied at Bennett's for a week back in March, so she's already doing three-quarter cuts):


No big jumps on Sunday, but no big splats either.

As usual, we jumped in an all-too-frequent tailwind.

It's almost time...

to start jumping.

Though not cutting terribly hard in this clip, Leah is turning and edging the skis with a strong, balanced, body position.



I need to push my ass forward sligtly, otherwise there will be a few OTBs in my near future.


I would have done a few singles yesterday, but for a couple minor probelems.
1. The ramp had no flotation under the back left corner.
2. Said ramp was floating on the edge of the lake.

A day late ...

and off-topic, this is my 4/20 tribute.

In three parts:








This tribute is a day late. I couldn't post this yesterday because I had to pick up Nola from the shore of some pond. She smelled like PBR.

Oh how silly...

you are. You thought you could capture Nola with Jack Bauer.
Silly
CRBers,
Jack Bauer is the Elmer Fudd to Nola'a Bugs Bunny.
Nola has a plan for "inconveniences" such as these. Jack has a weakness and Nola knows how to exploit it.
All she has to do is distract Jack.

But how?
With a sound, the sound that can break Jack's laser-sight focus.




Nola always keeps a phone under her collar, for emergencies such as these.


Splash! Jack distracted, Nola lunges out of the rowboat.



In panic, Jack fires a shot.
Jack is upset.


Jack misses, piercing the hull!





So Nola swims away, sits on shore, and laughs.


So here we stand: a rowboat at he bottom of the lake, a dog on shore, a cooler and a paddle floating on the surface. I think Jack went down with the ship.

How did Nola get past the fat floating gunmen??

How, you ask?

Curious?



Cheez-its!


They produce quite a distraction.
Your move, CRB

Tom, I think...

you broke @ the waist.





Nice work. Clips from early in the year are generally not very exciting. A good splat, however, is always worth watching.


So far, I am tricking like I still have vertigo.



I don't, that clip was just bad tricking.

Hell yes,

that is frost on the dock.



Winter, as always, was too long. It's over now. Time to strap on the stiffys (Goodman stiffys, you pervs).



I can't go over the ramp until I have sensation in my toes wile cutting.

Photography 101:

Nature shots always look prettier with a ski boat in the foreground.

Another victim of...

the recession. Apparently,Nola has been laid off by the CRB. She had a cushy gig as the contact dog. But, when Pictures were leaked (at lakerykert) of Nola simply doing her job. CRB staff dug up old scandals and fired her, for an octo-rig.

This may seem, to the untrained blog-lurker, like a routine upgrade. Switching a Golden Retriever for an octo-rig can make sense. A higher volume of e-correspondence requires more horsepower. It was a business decision.

Or was it?

Nola did a little "investigative journalism," (some might say theft) and discovered that the CRB's contact octo-rig is not quite what it seems.

Observe:
What is Nola towing with that rope?



It's the CRB Octo-rig!?
WTF? Why is is that small?






The Octo-rig is a fake! Nola was outsourced by a children's bathtub toy. What's the matter, did Cheez-It's become too expensive? You should be ashamed of yourselves, CRB. She was a hard-working dog, dutifully responding to all those, er, Internet promotions. Now she will have to sell her laptop. Even a recently laid off postal worker would shudder at the type of retribution she could muster.

A quick update for...

your "No Shit, Sherlock" file.

Headline taken from the April 6, 2009 New York Times :




Children: Early Swim Lessons May Reduce Drowning


Profound.

Profound.

Stricken with...

irony.

I'm currently recovering from a brief, though intense bout of benign positional vertigo. The timing sucks, being that this is just about the time to start skiing (and shivering) in Iowa. Instead of perfecting toe back-to-backs, I'm pushing for more modest goals, like not losing my balance while feeding Nola.

By the way, Nola has been busily responding to CRB emails lately. How the hell did she get sucked into that gig? ODBF, or perhaps the Minion, must have bribed her with Cheez-its.
Good luck trying to get Nola to return the Missing CRB padlle, though.

Context is...

for suckers.

From the March 26th, 2009 Iowa City Press-Citizen website:


"The man admitted to eating the marijuana, and more was found later in his anal cavity."

Best.
Sentence.
Ever.

I coulda been a...

contender, for my earliest-ever first ski day.*
Two years ago, I skied on March 27th. Tomorrow is march 26th. It's on. I'm ready to smash, by one full day, my high water (and high shrinkage) mark.

Here are the drama-laden preparations for a record breaking set of not-much-more-than-jumping-the-wakes on my trick ski.

Call Tom yesterday: The boat should be out of storage.

Check weather.com: Winds WSW @ 5 mph.


Call Tom today: Not sure if the boat is out of storage.

Check weather.com again: Winds still good.
Temps in the... Mid thirties?? Damn.

Final verdict: Mid thirties and no boat yet. The '07 record stands
Plan to sleep after work instead of ski.

Damn.

I need to ski soon. Nola has been in the water for since the beginning of March.
No pictures yet, she's been stealthily tailing a few wayward paddlers, just dogpaddling toward the skunky PBR wafts.







*Since moving from the sunbelt to the frigid midwest.

Move over Twiggy...

I've found something better. It looks like Joe Camel has found a new job. Getting fired as a cigarette spokescamel was the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Now he skis for commercials in Mideastern Resort Towns. Sure beats working for acorns.

Here is Joe in action.



I think the dry desert air is good for his, uh, well-worn, lungs.

Let's get...

BLITZED!!!



This commercial is awesome. I think this stuff is stocked in Nola's (formerly CRB) cooler. If not, it should be.

It's winter...

so being off-topic is ok.

Anyway, if this makes you reach for your wallet, you have a gambling problem.

WHO'S THE 'UNDERDOG'?

Odds for 131st annual Westminster Dog Show, for entertainment purposes only, from John Avello, director of race and sports book operations at the Wynn Las Vegas.

Odds by group
Terrier 2/1
Sporting 4/1
Working 5/1
Toy 7/1
Non Sporting 8/1
Herding 15/1
Hound 20/1

Odds by sex
Bitch 9/5
Dog 1/2

Odds by age
Over 3 years 7 months 10 /11
Under 3 years 7 months 10 /11

Odds by handler
Will be a female handler Even
Will be a male handler 5/6

Odds by breed
Spaniel (English Springer) 25/1
Dandie Dinmont Terrier 28/1
Fox Terrier (Wire) 30/1
Airedale Terrier 35/1
Boxer 40/1
Sealyham Terrier 45/1
Old English Sheepdog 50/1
Scottish Terrier 55/1
Poodle (Toy) 60/1
Pug 65/1
Pointer (German Shorthaired) 70/1
Newfoundland 75/1
Poodle (Standard) 80/1
Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen 85/1
Norwich Terrier 90/1
Poodle (Miniature) 100/1
Pekingese 100/1
Doberman Pinscher 100/1
Yorksire Terrier 110/1
Pointer 120/1
Setter (Irish) 120/1
Afghan Hound 125/1
Standard Schnauzer 135/1
Kerry Blue Terrier 140/1
Bichons Frise 150/1
German Shepherd Dog 150/1
Lakeland Terrier 150/1
Siberian Husky 160/1
Papillon 160/1
Pomeranian 160/1
Spaniel (Clumber) 175/1
Spaniel (Irish Water) 175/1
Akita 175/1
Bull Terrier (White) 175/1
Skye Terrier 175/1
Bulldog 175/1
Fox Terrier (Smooth) 200/1
Spaniel (Cocker) Black 200/1
Spaniel (English Cocker) 200/1
West Highland White Terrier 200/1
Shih Tzu 200/1
Chinese Shar-pei 200/1
Chow Chow 200/1
Retriever (Labrador) 225/1
Setter (English) 225/1
Spaniel (Cocker) A.S.C.O.B 225/1
Spaniel (Field) 225/1
Whippet 225/1
Bedlington Terrier 225/1
Bull Terrier (Colored) 225/1
Welsh Terrier 250/1
Manchester Terrier (Toy) 250/1
Silky Terrier 250/1
Toy Fox Terrier 250/1
Collie (Rough) 250/1
Manchester Terrier(Standard) 275/1
Pointer (German Wirehaired) 275/1
Retriever (Golden) 275/1
Spaniel (American Water) 275/1
Spaniel (Sussex) 275/1
Spaniel (Welsh Springer) 275/1
Basset Hound 275/1
Foxhound (American) 275/1
Foxhound (English) 275/1
Boston Terrier 275/1
Collie (Smooth) 275/1
Spaniel (Cocker) Parti-color 300/1
Spinone Italiano 300/1
Basenji 300/1
Ibizan Hound 300/1
Irish Wolfhound 300/1
Australian Terrier 300/1
Border Terrier 300/1
Norfolk Terrier 300/1
Staffordshire Bull Terrier 300/1
Maltese 300/1
French Bulldog 300/1
Lhasa Apso 300/1
Tibetan Spaniel 300/1
Tibetan Terrier 300/1
Borzoi 325/1
American Staffordshire Terrier 325/1
Cairn Terrier 325/1
Miniature Bull Terrier 325/1
Miniature Schnauzer 325/1
Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier 325/1
Finnish Spitz 325/1
Setter (Gordon) 325/1
Bloodhound 350/1
Dachshund (Longhaired) 350/1
Dachshund (Smooth) 350/1
Dachshund (Wirehaired) 350/1
German Pinscher 350/1
Parson Russel Terrier 350/1
Amerlcan Eskimo Dog 350/1
Vizsla 375/1
Samoyed 375/1
Miniature Pinscher 375/1
Retriever (Plat-coated) 375/1
Retriever (Nova Scotia Duck Tolling) 400/1
Weimaraner 400/1
Beagle, 13 Inch. 400/1
Beagle, 15 Inch. 400/1
Alaskan Malamute 400/1
Giant Schnauzer 400/1
Rottweiler 400/1
Irish Terrier 400/1
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel 425/1
Chihuahua (Long Coat) 425/1
Chihuahua (Smooth Coat) 425/1
Japanese Chin 425/1
Belgian Sheepdog 425/1
Belgian Tervuren 425/1
Wirehaired Pointing Griffon 425/1
Retriever (Curley-coated) 450/1
Harrier 450/1
Norwegian Elkhound 450/1
Anatolian Shepherd Dog 450/1
St. Bernard 450/1
Keeshond 450/1
Lowchen 450/1
Bouviers Des Flandres 450/1
Shetland Sheepdog 450/1
Saluki 475/1
Australian Cattle Dog 475/1
Chinese Crested 475/1
Retriever (Chesapeake Bay) 475/1
Greyhound 475/1
Otterhound 475/1
Bullmastiff 475/1
Great Dane 500/1
Mastiff 500/1
Dalmatian 500/1
Schipperke 500/1
Shlba Inu 500/1
Australian Shephard 500/1
Briard 500/1
Canaan Dog 500/1
English Toy Spaniel (B & BC) 525/1
English Toy Spaniel (KC & R) 525/1
Welsh Corgi (Cardigan) 525/1
Welsh Corgi (Pembroke) 525/1
Puli 550/1
Black And Tan Coonhound 550/1
Great Pyrenees 550/1
Neapolitan Mastiff 550/1
Portuguese Water Dog 550/1
Affenpinscher 600/1
Bearded Collie 600/1
Havanese 600/1
Rhodesian Ridgeback 600/1
Pharaoh Hound 600/1
Greater Swiss Mountain Dog 600/1
Glen Of Imaal Terrier 600/1
Brussels Griffon 750/1
Belgian Malinois 750/1
Polish Lowland Sheepdog 750/1
Brittany 750/1
Scottish Deerhound 750/1
Bernese Mountain Dog 1000/1
Black Russian Terrier 1000/1
Komondor 1000/1
Kuvasz 1000/1


I kept Nola away from my wallet, just to be on the safe side.

My dog...

is a local celebrity.




Look for Nola at 1:00 and 1:19. Also at 1:00, you will see half of a headless body holding a racquetball racquet. That's me.

Apparently, it costs...

more than the price of a new drysuit to repair a broken zipper on a drysuit. So I decided to try to repair my old drysuit, with a ripped-off tooth near the base of the zipper.

Before:


First, glue the base of the zipper together and clamp for 48 hours.

(Saran wrap the edges of the clamp so the zipper does not adhere to said clamp.)

Next. Find a piece of metal to cover the zipper above and below the break. After a brief discussion with an ACE hardware employee about the softness and corrosion resistance of different metals, I settled on Bronze spacers.

Oh yeah, and cut the metal so that it can fit over the zipper, yet get under the zipper teeth.


Finally, slide Bronze spacers in place on the zipper track, put another layer of adhesive between the spacer and the zipper, crimp the spacer tight to the zipper track with pliers, and wait two or three days to pool-test the damn thing.



If successful, I will have a dry drysuit, with a zipper that doesn't quite open all the way. I can live with that, especially a a savings of 300+ dollars.

Despite our...

best efforts,

.


You, you evil, diabolical, sadistic rodent. One day, I will have my revenge.

Go back to your hole. I will be watching, and Nola will be sniffing.

Some free publicity...

for the Iowa waterski team. It is a rough draft, so I will post the final version when it is complete.



Nice work Tom & Jake.

And thanks for the photo credits.

This is pure...

filler. A winter rerun to keep me in the habit of semi-regular blogging. in addition to scouring YouTube to watch clips of the pros, I've been going through some of my Flickr vids. to help me make it through the rest of the winter. I've noticed some bad and good stuff

Bad:


Good:



I hope for more of the latter in '09. But first, there's that damn groundhog to deal with.

They are in training...

for battle.




It's just a matter of time.



Nothing can stop them.

awaken

Ice buries the fields.





Nola grows restless.





Do you hear it?





Do you smell it?





It's a rumbling from underground.




His slumber is fading.





Soon he will rise.




For good, or for evil.









Oh, he's here for evil.



It's almost groundhog day.




And LakeRykertis back.