Thursday, February 24, 2011

Clever, but not...

clever enough CRB. Even with Muary Levy on retainer, Nola has been playing the game about 10 moves ahead. Remember Back When you hired Jack Bauer to take Nola out? That, coincidentally, was the same time Nola was using Jack Bauer as a double agent to swindle the CRB out of their cooler and their paddle once and for all.

Here's how it happened: You see, Nola literally sniffed out the plan the CRB plan to hire Jack Bauer. Sniffed out as in Jack smelled like Cheez-its. Next time CRB, shower before your clandestine meetings. So, Nola sold a few Milkbones on Ebay and ponied up enough cash to to Make Jack Listen.

Don't think it's possible? Here's the evidence.
Jack Bauer bribe

Remember this scene, the crux (so you thought)of CRB retribution?

All a ruse. The plan was for Jack to paddle out into international waters, have Jack "shoot and miss," sinking the rowboat, leaving the paddle and the (puke-tinged) CRB cooler floating aimlessly, just waiting to be claimed.

All Nola had to do was lay low for a while, hop in the boat, and scoop up the goods.
nola in intl waters

Even Muary Levy is helpless,as Nola operated in international waters.
muary levy

Jack McCoy's(as Nola's Duly appointed fiduciary) role in this chapter? to remind Muary, (and his CRB clients) just how screwed he is.

Monday, February 21, 2011

CRB, again, you messed with...

the wrong dog.

Recently, you accused a certain Golden Retriever
Proud Snowy Nola
of plagiarism. A week or two has passed since that masochistic accusation. In that week or two, rage incubated. Nola read your 1000th post. Now the dog is out for blood. And she has some help

Jack Bauer is a pansy compared to the napalm steamroller now in Nola's employ: Nola hired a Jack more terrifying (to those he opposes)than even Jack the Ripper. That Jack is none other than Jack McCoy.

jack mccoy

Jack (as Nola's duly appointed fiduciary) is coming for you, CRB. He's suing you for libel. Get ready for a mountain of paperwork
paperwork 3
Here is a glimpse of your future

CRB, Jack (as Nola's duly appointed fiduciary) has a question for you:

in case you might be wondering just how Nola has the means to retain Jack McCoy's services, she put up two trophies up as collateral.
nola stolen property

When will you learn, CRB, to let, as the proverb cautions, sleeping dogs lie?
Sleeping Nola

Friday, February 11, 2011

No way in hell...

will I conclude my digression on cover songs with two shitty ones.

I like this one.

Here is my all time favorite cover tune.

If you cover it, bring it. That should be Federal law.

*Correction, at the time of Posting, Celine Dion's wretched bastardization of "You Shook Me All Night Long" was pasted instead of Eddie Vedder's version Of Gordon Peterson's "Hard Sun" I DO NOT LIKE that Celine Dion Tune. That was a cut-and-paste faux pas.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

While we're on the subject...

this cover is, arguably, worse than Fergie's tragicomic rendition of "Sweet Child o' Mine."

This one, however, takes the cake (and substitutes salt for sugar in the recipe)

To paraphrase: May God NOT have mercy upon your souls.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

The previous post...

could be titled "How Not to Cover a Great Rock Song." This, is how it should be done.

By the way, It's winter, so going off topic is ok. BACK OFF MAN!

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

And so verily...

it was, an abomination upon that most sacred of rock Pslams. And it came to pass, on that holy Sabbath, that it was blasphemed. And the LORD was angry. And so the bile rose, from the pit of the stomach to the ears, upon those who listened. And verily, they brought forth vomitus, and their ears burned. For she sang...

My theory on why Slash is participating:
Slash is telling Axl If it sucks so bad, then why don't you stop snorting coke off of that washed up (circa '88)groupie's flabby ass, sack up, grab a mic, and belt this shit out the way God intended.

Alternate theory: Anything for a paycheck

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Nice weather...

we're havin'!