Make room in the boat...

for Scout Frances...





I will say she arrived in dramatic fashion, and leave it at that.

First things first....

Now that she has some ski equipment, maybe Libby and I can come up with a name. If anyone (or a corporation) comes asking for naming rights, I'll at least listen. Exploitation fades in a sea of zeros.

Huh?

In April, this is not cool.

The Short answer is...

Hell Yes!

"FROM: Richelle Matli, AWSA Rules Committee Chair

SUBJECT: AWSA Rules Committee Survey Regarding Proposed Increase in Jump Speeds


In the past several weeks, you were e-mailed a survey regarding proposed changes to jump speeds for the divisions listed below. The AWSA Rules Committee would like to give as many affected jumpers as possible, the opportunity to respond to the survey so that the committee has adequate data on which to base its recommendations.

If you have already submitted your survey, thank you! If not, please take a moment to complete the survey using the appropriate link below. Even if you think the proposed changes do not affect you, we want your feedback. We have extended the survey deadline to April 15, 2011.

If you know of any jump skiers that would be affected by this proposal who do not check e-mail on a regular basis, please ask them to do so or inform USA Water Ski or myself of their choices."


I say raise the speeds (and while you're at it, the ramp too, but that is another debate). Any M3 skier that wants to jump @ 33.6 is welcome to continue doing so.


Raise the speeds USAWS!

Holy Shit!!!!

In nearly 10 days, this




will no longer be riding in this


Instead, it will be riding in this

0402111151 - Copy, a photo by no_hypothermia on Flickr.

Is this picture real or hopefully imagined??

Happily, time is running out...

for off topic posts, as ski season (and other major developments soon to be announced) draws near.
Anyway, while Steve Jobs slowly destroys my ears during my off-season workouts, I have come to a frightening couple of frightening realizations:
1. A hug chunk of the music on my iPod is pushing, or has passed, the 20-year-old barrier.
2. The early 90s FUCKING ROCKED!
2a. I'm getting old?
I submit as evidence:


Of course, with every yin, there is a yang, and there was a sizable amount of music in the early 90s that, despite attempts, did not fucking rock.
I submit as evidence:


No way in hell can I end on a Spin Doctors video. So here is more support for realization #2

Clever, but not...

clever enough CRB. Even with Muary Levy on retainer, Nola has been playing the game about 10 moves ahead. Remember Back When you hired Jack Bauer to take Nola out? That, coincidentally, was the same time Nola was using Jack Bauer as a double agent to swindle the CRB out of their cooler and their paddle once and for all.

Here's how it happened: You see, Nola literally sniffed out the plan the CRB plan to hire Jack Bauer. Sniffed out as in Jack smelled like Cheez-its. Next time CRB, shower before your clandestine meetings. So, Nola sold a few Milkbones on Ebay and ponied up enough cash to to Make Jack Listen.

Don't think it's possible? Here's the evidence.


Remember this scene, the crux (so you thought)of CRB retribution?


All a ruse. The plan was for Jack to paddle out into international waters, have Jack "shoot and miss," sinking the rowboat, leaving the paddle and the (puke-tinged) CRB cooler floating aimlessly, just waiting to be claimed.

All Nola had to do was lay low for a while, hop in the boat, and scoop up the goods.


Even Muary Levy is helpless,as Nola operated in international waters.


Jack McCoy's(as Nola's Duly appointed fiduciary) role in this chapter? to remind Muary, (and his CRB clients) just how screwed he is.

CRB, again, you messed with...

the wrong dog.

Recently, you accused a certain Golden Retriever

of plagiarism. A week or two has passed since that masochistic accusation. In that week or two, rage incubated. Nola read your 1000th post. Now the dog is out for blood. And she has some help

Jack Bauer is a pansy compared to the napalm steamroller now in Nola's employ: Nola hired a Jack more terrifying (to those he opposes)than even Jack the Ripper. That Jack is none other than Jack McCoy.






Jack (as Nola's duly appointed fiduciary) is coming for you, CRB. He's suing you for libel. Get ready for a mountain of paperwork

Here is a glimpse of your future

CRB, Jack (as Nola's duly appointed fiduciary) has a question for you:


CRBers
in case you might be wondering just how Nola has the means to retain Jack McCoy's services, she put up two trophies up as collateral.


When will you learn, CRB, to let, as the proverb cautions, sleeping dogs lie?

No way in hell...

will I conclude my digression on cover songs with two shitty ones.

I like this one.


Here is my all time favorite cover tune.


If you cover it, bring it. That should be Federal law.

*Correction, at the time of Posting, Celine Dion's wretched bastardization of "You Shook Me All Night Long" was pasted instead of Eddie Vedder's version Of Gordon Peterson's "Hard Sun" I DO NOT LIKE that Celine Dion Tune. That was a cut-and-paste faux pas.

While we're on the subject...

this cover is, arguably, worse than Fergie's tragicomic rendition of "Sweet Child o' Mine."



This one, however, takes the cake (and substitutes salt for sugar in the recipe)



To paraphrase: May God NOT have mercy upon your souls.

The previous post...

could be titled "How Not to Cover a Great Rock Song." This, is how it should be done.






By the way, It's winter, so going off topic is ok. BACK OFF MAN!

And so verily...

it was, an abomination upon that most sacred of rock Pslams. And it came to pass, on that holy Sabbath, that it was blasphemed. And the LORD was angry. And so the bile rose, from the pit of the stomach to the ears, upon those who listened. And verily, they brought forth vomitus, and their ears burned. For she sang...



My theory on why Slash is participating:
Slash is telling Axl If it sucks so bad, then why don't you stop snorting coke off of that washed up (circa '88)groupie's flabby ass, sack up, grab a mic, and belt this shit out the way God intended.

Alternate theory: Anything for a paycheck

Nice weather...

we're havin'!

High...

Output indeed.



I wonder if Andy threw down with Cory 'cuz he was mackin' on his honey**.



**Notice the hip lingo

TURN DOWN...

THE MUSIC!!!

Dear Bigwigs at Correct Craft. I recently watched the video of your new all-electric powered ski boat on your website. Great work. Of course the Electric Nautique is not ready for mass-production right now, but it is a great first step and I applaud your company's willingness to experiment with new technology. Real innovation requires bold, though sometimes awkward, first steps, and your company put forth the money, labor, and time to push the limits of available technology. The payoff may (or may not) come years or decades from now, yet Correct Craft has the courage to go after it.


That being said, I have discovered one itty-bitty problem with the promotional video on the blog section of the Nautique website. Here is the problem: Except for the last two or three seconds, background music plays during all of the skiing footage. WHAT THE HELL! THIS IS AN ELECTRIC BOAT,WITH NEARLY SILENT OPERATION! The lack of engine noise would make this video sound completely different than ANY other skiing video. Without the background music, you, Correct Craft, could treat viewers (and potential boat-buyers) to an aural experience unlike any other in waterskiing. But instead, you decided to wash the clip in generic background music so it would sound like every other skiing clip ever produced. Great work.
Assuming that boat promotion has been around as long as there have been boats, Adding background music has to be the, stupidest, most moronic idea ever used to promote a boat. You have made something truly unique sound just like everything else. Brilliant, just brilliant.
This quote sums it best

Simply put...

I need my Auburn Tigers to win. Watching the Saints tank it* in the playoffs against a 7-9 team and watching Auburn lose the National Championship** Game would be too much to disappointment for me to handle***.

*royally

**In as much as the B(silent)CS can crown a "National Champion." See Tulane, TCU, Boise Stae, Utah, Auburn cicra '04

***Perspective, Shmershective

In case any of you...

are having trouble deciding on Christmas gifts for me, how about some suggestions.

Safety first, I need a new life vest


And some skis


Oh yeah, my boardshorts are getting a bit ragged. Time to upgrade.

Definitely the piece de resistance


You can find some cherry stuff on ebay .

My birthday is coming up too (it's on Christmas eve), so multiple gifts are a viable option.

To keep my legions...

of subscribers in the spirit of the season, how about another of my favorite Christmas tunes

Deck some halls..

with another one



I never knew unitl I posted this that U2 filmed this in Baton Rouge. Brings a level of Irony to the line about the snow coming down.


That intro is totally 80's to the max.