"Part the last"...

Of my lame Regionals coverage. The pictures tell the whole story of the trip home.

"part the fourth..."

of my lame regionals coverage.
Jump.

It had everything:

The Good:

Brian Ansel's winning jump, 165 feet. Sweet.

The Bad:

My last jump. When My right ski went below parallel to the water, I stopped giving a shit about riding the jump away.

The Ugly:

Leah. One second longer, and she would have face planted the ramp.

This Picture should explain the mishap above.

LEAH, DO NOT JUMP WITH A BROKEN FIN (or even the suspicion of a broken fin)


Pat Cook finished his Men 2 career with a 135 foot jump in conditions that wer more conducive to tubinbg and beer-drinking. Not bad, Pat.


Thanks again to "Flyin'" Brian Reed for the videography.

He passed this one, but posted a 130 ft. jump for a place on the podium.

Next: The Trek Home
or
NOT AGAIN!

"part the third"

of my limited '08 Midwest Regionals coverage.

Camerawork courtesy of "Flyin'" Brian Reed.

Pat Cook:

He was most woried about his Wake 0

Brian Ansel's 2-ski pass:

Gotta love the two-ski stepovers.

My toe pass. I placed highest out of our carpool, But as a percentage of tricks attempted/tricks scored, Pat & Brian both tricked better than I did.

I dropped my Toe 0 after a few falls the week before in practice. After tanking my opener in slalom, I wanted to be sure I did not have a first-trick fall on the next day. Adding to the triumph, I had to repeat my Reverse Toe Back after sidesliding the first try.

"part the second"...

of 08 regionals.
Nothing to complain about the site



Here is a miracle shot. someone actually got a pic of me slaloming. It's a miracle shot because after missing the handle around 2, I was not on the water for very long.

So much for a decent overal performance.

Brian was better that day. He got into 32 off


By the way, it was hot that weekend.


Next, tricks.

"part the first"...

of 2008 Midwest regionals. It began well enough, as I loaded my sleep-deprived ass, as well as a shit ton of equipment, clothes, and water jugs, into Brian's 2000 Chevy Astro. After a stop in Cedar Rapids to pick up Pat (and his three event's worth of equipment, the aforementioned stop in Coralville for me and my stuff, and another stop in DSM to pick up Brian (and his three event's worth of stuff we had a full load.




And now for a couple of gratuitous Welcome to [state x] shots.



Here's your enlarged Welcome to Kansas shot.

Too much...

Karate Kid shit with my hands.



I finally had a fourth person with me while tricking. That means a driver, a pinner, and a filmer to get some toe trick footage. It's a little dangerous to film and release. It might lead to something akin to this:



This was actually a jump injury (get healed up ASAP Katie), but I think, loyal readers, you get the point.

My, what a long...

Peninsula.


This past weekend, two things happened that seldom occur together. Ski tournament @ Dream Lakes in huxley, IA, & good skiing conditions. I did not quite take advantage of the smooth water as I managed to post average scores in all three events. That seemed to be the case all day Saturday. Few PBs, but then again, very few break-your-ski-into-a-thousand-pieces performances.

Pat Cook broke a long drought of not shortening the rope.


In the midst of a two-year research stint, Dr. Marie has a life again and can actually do some skiing.


At this angle, it looks like Jim can't get on the ramp. But, he got on...

Katie, do as...

I say, not as I do.




No, seriously, I mean it.

The reason for...

this year's sharp increase in a waterskier's cost per set.


see Obama pictures

First, the good...

news. I finally dialed in a decent spot to start my double wake cuts.

The bad news: I was, ever so slightly, on my heels.

The reason why...

I had no scoring jumps yesterday



Remember folks, the ramp is about 1000 feet away, this way: <---
It faces this way: --->

That's a nasty tailwind.
During practice on Friday, it was blowing 180 degrees in the other direction, the good direction.

Of course, I don't have that much of an excuse for not riding one out, being that Chuck managed to land a few solid jumps, like this one.



This picture makes me a little sad. I took my camera out 30 seconds too late to catch Steve P. doing an unintentional barrel roll of the top of the ramp. He was ok(though undoubtedly very sore right now) and all I got was a shot of the yard sale cleanup.

"I wonder if there's...

a cooler in the back of this car?"



Has Nola found a new accomplice??????

Welcome back...

Clint, to the lake. He had not skied all year until today. On this pass, it showed, painfully.



That DID leave a mark.


Mad props to Mace Windu, my Jedi cameraman, for the shit-eating shot.

One month to go...

until Regionals, give or take a couple of days. After a month's long shelving (thanks to a the second 500-year flood in the last 15 years) I am, basically, starting the season over from scratch.


I finally got a jump set in good conditions this past week. I could still be a little more aggressive, but It's getting there.


But, as you can see here, I've got to get there in a hurry if I want to make Brian nervous in Kansas next month


Much appreciation to Scott T. & Brian A. for inviting me out to take a few sets at Dream Lakes estates. It turns out they do get good water out there sometimes.

Trickin' it...

Old school.

I found these gems on Some hombre from Columbia's YouTube page.


Mapple, on a trick ski. Cool.


Aymeric Benet, circa 1989.


Patrice Martin, ce n'est pas une trick release.


Cory Pickos, still one of the best.

Legions of readers, I hope you enjoy.

This guy was...

an idol of mine.





I had about 8 of his Specials on DVD & Video, not to mention a couple hours worth of stuff downloaded, and 2 of his books. Oh yeah, and I saw him live twice, in 1997 & 2002.
Shit, he's dead. I'll Fuckin' miss him.

Why the hell...

is a short cut that starts on the same side of the wake as the ramp called a single, when a longer cut in which the skier crosses the wakes called a three-quarter cut? Last time I checked, .75 < 1.

Observe:

A "three-quarter" cut


A "single" cut



The "single" looks more like a half-cut.
The "three-quarter" looks more like half of a double cut. Half of a double is a, what's it called, oh yeah, a single.

Go figure

*By the way, I must credit Libby, my wife, with the idea for this post. Every time I mention jumping and she is within earshot, she tells me that these two cuts are misnamed.

Don't you just hate it ...

when Mace Windu rides in the boat and doesn't even have the courtesy to keep his lightsaber turned off.




Maybe a disturbance in the force caused all of those damn rollers
(No picture, I don't want to be sued by Lucasfilm)

Shout out to the CRB-- The Lake of Sin is open for business! Of course it's full of backwash and it feels like the beginning of the year all over again (minus the drysuits/shrinkage)

I forgot to...

tell Pat that we were only taking skiing pics. Pat, to paraphrase Shakespeare, "get thee to a [podiatrist]."

We hath begun to awaken...

the sleeping ramp.

Note: all spirited commentary courtesy of 6-year-old Rachel, soon to be a skier herself

Pat has been doing mainly cut sets



I've done a few singles



Screw the singles, I'll just do a few easy three-quarter cuts.



Rick is still slaloming

though not quite up to snuff yet.

Nola, as always, has been providing dockside encouragement/harrassment.


Next: a quandary over jump terminology

This picture needs no...

clever description




Back to skiing.

Neither Rick nor myself have slalomed much this year. The skiing doesn't deserve a clever description.

Rick


Me


Too much of this

right now

I'm not the only one...

spending too much time in the water these days...



How does that dog not need a wetsuit?

I still have to...

shake quite a few cobwebs off of my tirck ski



Edge all the way up the wake, you moron!





Don't let your ass get behind you on your way up the wake, you moron!
Notice how my ski is basically in the sideslide position when it hits the water, no wonder it slides right out from under me.



Early in the year, I like to do a lot of series of WB WF R R 's. It helps get me in a ryhthm of quick transitions between tricks.



I do the same drill with WBB's too, although this one looked like shit.

One days I need a fourth person when I'm tricking so I can critique my toe tricks in the same way. Unfortunately, hold release + hold camera= shredded ligaments

Part 2 of I finally remembered...

my camera.

This is me riding my jumpers.

I always start with the crane drill.






Then I cut at (approximately-- the speedos on the Moomba are not yet calibrated) 35 mph







And there is the traditional crapping out at the end of the set.



I'm tired of just cutting. I want to hit the ramp

I finally remembered...

to bring my camera out to the lake.
See Tom*.
See Tom slalom.








See Tom's much improved technique. Well, I guess that's difficult because I didn't get any footage from earlier in the week. So instead, see blog reader taking poster's word for it.

*Tom is part of a family legacy On The University Of Iowa Waterski Team. His sister (Dr. Marie) skied @ Iowa from 98-02

Potential potential...

for injury. I am in the process of making a hardshell trick binding out of an old rollerblade boot and a wiley jump plate from one of my my old jump binding




I used a Dremel tool (Thanks Libby) to slice the runners off of the boot.



I'm still working out a lot of the what-hardware's and the how-to's.


Optical illusion time: Doesn't it look like the water goes right up to the concrete?

The cooler theft is bigger...

than anyone at Lakerykert or The Creaky Rowboat could have ever imagined. It is not just the CRB cooler. It is helpless coolers from all over this land. Nola masterminded the entire operation.
How do I know, you ask? The proof was in my backyard this morning. Coolers everywhere. CRB crew, you are not the only victim Everywhere, people languish in sobriety.
Look in horror:



CRB, Don't think that this is over and you are safe now. Nola's reign of terror has become a personal canine vendetta. Look at your siderails. Are you missing something? Something critical to the operation to a rowboat?


A paddle, perhaps?

After all of this crime and beer deprivation, the most important question to ask now is why? Why does my dog steal coolers, and now paddles?
The answer is simple, she has a criminal mind. I did some research and I unearthed this photo:


It turns out Nola did some time in puppy prison before perfecting the puppy-dog eyes and moving in to the home of an unsuspecting couple in Iowa. Providing a home, I thought my wife and I were safe. As it turns out, she was playing me all this time. I just called my bank today and I discovered that my accounts had been drained, converted to rawhide and chicken livers.

What next, you conspiring canine????


By the way, Nola only stole the cheez-its were to bribe Cujo. Cujo was necessary to keep up Nola's (man's best)friendly image.

I was called out...

By the Creaky RowBoat crew on my MS Paint skills. Weel, Abides, Ol'Dirty Bass Fisherman, and CRB Minion, here is my answer. You said New USA Waterski
ED Steve Locke can drink from the CRB cooler. I noticed there is no CRB cooler on the site.
Do you know why there is no CRB cooler on your site? Because Lakerykert's blog dog fetched it and brought it to me. Good girl Nola! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Skier Warning: off-topic post

While trying find this blog on this vast series of tubes we all love to surf, my Dad has run across a conceptual snag. Thast's right, not a technical snag, but a conceptual snag. If he cannot find a site immediately, he assumes that the site in question "must not be on his internet." He assumes that there exist several (or perhaps many, many more) internets, among which all sites are divided. So if you do not like that sites to which your internet provider gives access, you must either accept that, or get a different provider. So, Dad if you indeed find my blog on "your" internet, here is a conceptual diagram of the essence of the internet, as it relates from computer to computer.

Key: PC=personal computer
Mac=Macintosh
ISP=Internet Service Provider

Dad, this is your concept of the internet


This, however, is a concpet which is congurent with reality


Dad, your concept of the internet, while dead wrong, has not been without literary and philosophical precedent. Gottfried Leibiniz was an early Modern Philospher who was a leading proponent of the multiple universes. Also, any astute reader of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy understands both the possibilities and perils of the existence of multiple worlds.
Whether this is the greatest of all possible worlds, as Leibniz argues, or there exist multiple worlds-and the possibility of paths between them can lead a mortal to wage war on heaven- as Pullman dooms, there is still just one internet, in this world.

Next post: more skiing, hopefully

More footage...

of early season skiing. I tricked today and it was even rustier than my last set. Luckily, the rope release puller couldn't hold the camera at the same time. So for your viewing enjoyment (that's both of you), I have a few clips of Leah riding her jumpers.

I'm a big believer in the crane drill. I start all my just-cutting jump sets with it. Leah has been doing it too.


Coming of age post-PerfectPass, Christy

has not done much of old-fashioned (hand throttle) jump driving. I helped her out by hollering "GAS!"




I'm still working out the kinks uploading this one.


As you see here, early fatigue is common this time of year.

An unauthorized autobiography...

of your blog moderator

I spent much of youth carving up the bayous of just north of New Orleans, 'till that fateful day when I became a wanderer. I ran over an alligator. The fin on my 1993 Kidder Redline slalom sliced Clean through the old beast's cranium. Horribly, It was Gaston, The venerable 15-foot alpha-gator Emeritus of the Tchefuncte River. From that day forth, I was a marked man. Every Gator on that river knew my name, and wanted revenge.
Fearing the aptly-named death roll, I fled. I passed the latter half of the 90's in East-Central Alabama, studying philosophy and honing my craft in relative anonymity. That was until I heard a rumor I knew in my heart to be true.
North of Mobile, the state of Alabama is supposed to be devoid of gators. So when a friend told me about gator sightings in a local tributary affectionately (and aptly) named drunk creek, I knew I had been found. Lake Martin fed Drunk creek, and Lake Martin was our ski team's practice site. Drunk creek's water held my scent. Gaston's descendants were on the verge of capturing me.
So I fled once again, this time to the tobacco fields of eastern North Carolina to live as a ski instructor in a small, isolated catfish pond. Inevitably, I caught wind of a gator sighting on the banks of the Cape Fear river. Though an unconfirmed sighting, it was the impetus I needed to leave. AS months passed, I sensed a seething insanity in the family that kept me, as if I were a guest in the House of Usher. Escape compelled me again.
Needing to regroup for a while, I landed back In New Orleans for a time. I knew Gaston's progeny were sullied across the south in their search so I had a window, to once again indulge in raw oysters and shrimp po'-boys.
Quickly, the window shut. On a crescent bend in the Mississippi river, peering eyes followed me, from just above the surface, every time I jogged along the levee. The gators had followed my scent back home. Luckily, a girl from Iowa was kind enough to offer me asylum in the maize-fields of the great white north. There I've stayed, sacrificing the warmth of year-round skiing for the safety of a frigid Gator-barrier.

Finally...

ski season has begun. This past Friday (April 4th), to be exact. I was supposed to get on the water the day before (April 3rd), but there was one small problem.





The snow was not the main problem. It was the lightning stikring the area in the hours before the snow. I lack, however, the photographic acumen to catch a bolt on (digital, or any) film.

Friday's conditions (minus the 40-something degree water temperature coupled with slight wind chop on the Coralville reservoir), were perfect. Eagerly, I hitched up the (oh-how-she-shows-her-age) Moomba. Notice the missing giude bar on the back of the trailer. I believe that costs extra, just like the starter that accepts vintage car keys, flathead screwdrivers, and Swiss Army can openers. It also accepts as its own (precision-machined) ignition key.



I managed to take anything-but-fall-please trick set, and I rode my jumpers. I had big plans to get lots of video footage, but my camera battery crapped out early. All I managed to get were a couple clips of wake jumping and a few surface tricks. Oh well, It's early yet, and and I skied like it.
Observe.









Not terribly exciting footage. Like I said, it's early.

BAD IDEA BAD IDEA

For everyone's sanity, this is a new version, hopefully free of typos

There has been a recent thread on the skifly.com message board
about a push to get waterskiing recognized (and thereby governed) by the NCAA. Skiers, stay the hell away from this. It is, simply put, a dangerous, bordering on stupid, idea.

Anyway, here's the slightly revised version of what I wrote:

This topic came up on a couple of years ago. It was a bad idea then and it's a bad idea now.



1. Title IX-- the only thing that will happen is that women's teams would be funded and given partial scholarships and men's teams will receive no scholarship money. Sorry national champ caliber skier, the fifth string punter on the football team needs his full ride, otherwise he might attend his major in-state rival.
Collegiate Waterskiing already achieves something that NCAA sports, their rulebooks stacking as high as all volumes of the venerable Encyclopedia Britannica, have yet to achieve: full gender equality. It does this simply by awarding titles on combined team scores and weighing the men's and women's scores equally. If it ain't broke...

2. Scholarships-- It is highly doubtful that waterskiing scholarships would be the all-expenses-paid stipends skiers hope they would be. Since waterskiing would no doubt be a "nonrevenue" sport, each member would not receive a full scholarship, requiring a small percentage of scholarships to be distributed to the entire team. The New York Times recently wrote about this, here's a link
link.


3. Regulation, Regulation, Regulation-- the governing structure of the NCAA is so mind-numbingly overreaching that the way collegiate skiing is governed (i.e., by the skiers themselves) would immediately cease to exist.

*Decisions about waterskiing would be made by people with backgrounds in football, baseball, etc. Conference/regional boards governed by student representatives-- done for.

*Skiers working toward officials' ratings by judging/driving at Collegiate tournaments-- gone. No way in hell the NCAA would let active competitors officiate an event

*Practice begins when the weather permits-- nope. Mandatory start dates. Team takes the boat to Okeheelee for spring break to train-- not without Committee approval and a feasibility study.

*Lake owners bring a local boys/girls 3 skier out to the lake when a collegiate team is practicing-- whoops, NCAA rules violation, that was an unsanctioned recruiting visit, now your school is on probation.

*What if one of the Alums at your school gives you his old jump sling? Violation. Improper gift to an athlete. No postseason for your school for the next two years.

4. Pros--None of the " top dogs" would be able to be collegiate skiers. Anyone who has won, or perhaps even competed, at a cash prize tournament is out, ineligible. This will surely include skiers who have worked in a ski show--you are now ineligible. Worked at a ski school?--prepare to show a lot of documents proving that all you did was cut grass. And if a coach shows up in the off season at your ski school, you were having a sanctioned practice out of season- your school is on probation.



5. More exposure? Forget it. Waterskiing will surely be promoted about as much as Field Hockey or Rowing. It's a nonrevenue sport

It basically comes down to the end of collegiate waterskiing being controlled by waterskiers, and the beginning of Collegiate waterskiing being controlled by ex-football coaches and compliance officers. Personally, I think autonomy in a sport is a good thing. There will be none in NCAA waterskiing.


Excuse me as this rant a little off-the-cuff




Commenters, Feel free to bitch me out if I am the stupid one.

Three days into...

spring and twenty-four degrees.

To quote Wile E. Coyote, " ? "