Friday, April 18, 2008

The cooler theft is bigger...

than anyone at Lakerykert or The Creaky Rowboat could have ever imagined. It is not just the CRB cooler. It is helpless coolers from all over this land. Nola masterminded the entire operation.
How do I know, you ask? The proof was in my backyard this morning. Coolers everywhere. CRB crew, you are not the only victim Everywhere, people languish in sobriety.
Look in horror:

Backyard crime scene

CRB, Don't think that this is over and you are safe now. Nola's reign of terror has become a personal canine vendetta. Look at your siderails. Are you missing something? Something critical to the operation to a rowboat?
Nola paddle theft

A paddle, perhaps?

After all of this crime and beer deprivation, the most important question to ask now is why? Why does my dog steal coolers, and now paddles?
The answer is simple, she has a criminal mind. I did some research and I unearthed this photo:

It turns out Nola did some time in puppy prison before perfecting the puppy-dog eyes and moving in to the home of an unsuspecting couple in Iowa. Providing a home, I thought my wife and I were safe. As it turns out, she was playing me all this time. I just called my bank today and I discovered that my accounts had been drained, converted to rawhide and chicken livers.

What next, you conspiring canine????

By the way, Nola only stole the cheez-its were to bribe Cujo. Cujo was necessary to keep up Nola's (man's best)friendly image.


Rowboat Abides said...

HAHA!! Thats awesome! Coolers everywhere!! well done!!

I love exclamation points!

Rowboat Abides said...

oh yeah, and we got your rig of the month coming right up!

Rowboat Abides said...

plus, i didnt even notice the "property of crb" on the paddle. damn, you got the details down dude. we are just going in circles

Libby said...

Stop. Please. Seriously.

I read a lot of blogs and this is by far the most absurd dialogue. Ever.

Old Dirty Bass Fisherman said...

Well I guess we all know where the partys will be this summer. Woot

Lane said...

Hey! I'm made my blog temporarily private, but I want to add you to my readers list. Email me so I have your email address.