beginning the Christmas season AFTER Thanksgiving.* Since the Thanksgiving Dinner is traditionally eaten in mid-afternoon, I consider thanksgiving to be over at night on Thanksgiving day, or after the tryptophan nap, whichever comes first.
So, to kick off the Christmas (off)season, here is my all-time favorite Christmas song.
*American Thanksgiving, not the pre-Halloween Canadian Thanksgiving. Although by the time the calendar strikes November in Canada it is too damn cold to be thankful for anything. You Canucks should still wait until the fourth week of November. Otherwise, that is just too damn much Christmas.
Waterskiing The act of being so thoroughly drunk that you piss yourself at the bar with your legs apart, while holding onto the handrail along the side.
Aussie 1: "Jeez mate, you look rough. Hard night?" Aussie 2: "Too bloody right. I got so steamed last night I went waterskiing at the bar!" Aussie 1: "Strewth! I bet that was a relief..."
collegiate skiing, and one area where it is miles ahead of NCAA sports. That area would be gender equality.
Earlier this month, I was sitting on a dock waiting to ski and somehow Title IX came up in conversation. I basically said that it was a good law (mandating gender equality in collegiate athletics), applied clumsily (by cutting unprofitable men's sports). Collegiate waterskiing's current format encourages gender equality with a simple method: Making team scores the combined total of men's and women's score, and only recognizing placements based on combined scores. teams that do not field full men's and women's teams are at a competitive disadvantage.
The NCAA should look to the NCWSA for better ways to comply with Title IX. NCWSA-style combined team titles would force schools into two choices: gender equality or habitual losing
While combined championships might not make sense for team sports, it would be a realistic way to organize track and field, swimming, and/or gymnastics. If cutting the Men's team would hurt the women's team too, maybe Title IX could become a good law applied fairly.
Thanks to my intense research*, I am an expert on this frozen form of slalom. Apparently it's called skwaling, performed on a single ski called- wait for it...- a skwal. My research also tells me that the sport is nearly unheard of in the US, and only slightly more heard of in Europe, mostly in France**.
Maybe there is a magazine in France called "Le Ski," that devotes 98% of it's content, and 99% of it's pages, to skwaling.
*Wikipedia AND Google
**The ignorant redneck response to my research: The French work ethic renders them are incapable of logging the work hours required to afford and purchase both skis in a pair.
That is one bad-ass bike. Those douchebags* on American Chopper can suck it.
If any of those companies want to sponsor me, you can only contact me between the hours of 7am-7am Monday through Sunday.
Add some "happy little trees" in the foreground, and you have Bob Ross-ian ski shot.
Did Guam get a flag?
*I hate that fucking show. I would rather watch ten hours of the Lifetime network than ten minutes of any episode ofAmerican Chopper. Making an ugly, barely driveable motorcycle with fire engine parts on it won't change the world, you dipshits.
It's time for the first ever Waterskiing, etc movie review. Ok, not so much as a movie review as a comparison between two sets of trick videos.
Up first, we have a trip back to the mid 90's with the Cory Pickos/Mike Suyderhoud Trick Clinic series.
Next, representing the mid to late 00s (and the continent of Australia), is the Joel Wing Beginner to Advanced trick instructional DVD. For a tricks instructional video, DVD is obviously superior to VHS, especially if a viewer does not wish to view the tricks in order. Advantage: Wing
When it comes to instructor gravitas, Cory and Mike win, hands down, no contest. Check out Cory's career highlights here and mike's here .
After watching all three of Cory and Mike's tapes,I think Joel mad a mistake making only one DVD to cover the entire trick event. Slalom and jump require initial mastery of a few fundamental techniques, only the speed and intensity changing. Tricking requires more techniques than either slalom or jump, perhaps too many to cover in a single video. It shows when watching the Wing video. Sometimes Joel channels his inner Micro Machine man while trying to analyze difficult tricks.
Cory and Mike could be accused of the opposite. Over a series of three tapes and nearly three hours, they spend much more time per trick than the Joel does. Cory and Mike give a few tricks extra time, show multiple takes in slow motion, and at regular speed with analysis of every part of the trick.
Joel Wing shot his video on a river in Australia lined with ridiculously expensive home and disgustingly expensive yachts. While that makes for a postcard-worthy backdrop, It can be distracting for an instructional video. Cory and Mike shot their video on a large, relatively uninhabited lake surrounded by desert mountains. Cory's skiing stands out clearly against the bland background. Cory and Mike's producers must have used a bland backdrop to compensate for the low resolution of VHS. As a result, the skiing is very watchable, despite Cory's Mullet. Cory and Mike win again with location.
So to anyone looking for some video trick coaching, skip Joel's DVD and buy Cory and Mike's series instead. Oh wait, Cory and Mike's are not for sale anymore. Just call me before coming over to my place for a viewing party. Remember, I work night shifts, so I sleep a lot during daylight hours.
Oh yeah, and don't drink all of my Coke Zeros while watching my Pickos tapes. My guard dog will be all up in the grille of anyone who so much as looks at my fridge.
I coughed up some blood after that one. But I'm feeling much better now.
One of the most difficult things to do when filming a jumper is catching the splashdown on a crash. On more than one occassion, I have seen the cameraman have an "OH SHIT" moment and move his/her hands away from his/her face.
The same thing happened on a double wake back in '08:
Moral of the story: When getting your jump sets on video, use a cold, emotionless camera operator.
has been put on the back burner. Given my bayou-bred heritage, I am caught up in "Who Dat" hysteria.
Even Knit Tidbits , aka Mrs. Lakerykert, has the fever. Observe her latest crafting project:
I must admit, the NFC championship game wore me out, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
sadly enough, Knit Tidbits did not capture my celebration on videotape. But it was something like this guy's.
Despite losing everything but bowel control after the big kick two weeks ago, I write, with confidence, that I am ready for the Su, whoops, I mean the game that will played on Sunday for the pro football championship.
For the record, Nola thinks I am fucking nuts
Also, Mad props to my CRB homeys for pulling for the Saints this weekend.
noticed, 1. It's winter here in Iowa 2. I haven't posted anything in a while.
Given that ski season is a about three months away, I will start off with off-topic posts.
Hailing, originally, from the state of Louisiana, I am a die-hard New Orleans Saints' fan. Needless to say, I have been excited about the season, and a possible berth in the game whose mere mention requires the written consent of the commissioner's office.
In order to make it to the unnamed game, The Saints must beat Brett Favrrrrr and the Minnesota Vikings. I think the Saints will win the game. Why? Better songs.
Vikings' exhibit A
Some Vikings song I found on youTube
Vikings' exhibit B
"Purple & Gold"
Honestly, I expected better from Prince
Saints' exhibit A
"The Saints are Coming"
Saints' exhibit B
"When the Saints go marching in"
Game over. It's no contest.
If the crew of the CRB is reading, Nola has been up late lately, pouring through Tom & Jerry style blueprints
